Kadzo Part I

kadzo tales by ortis

“Hi Ortis….”

Okay, chill!

When a beautiful lady knows your name, says hi, and gives you a smile and you don’t know who the hell she is, then it’s automatically a trap, or, you are just a fine ass man! Period; considering I have stayed in an estate for two years and I don’t know anyone apart from the caretaker, and a fundi called Kyalo who can fix literally anything.

So I’ve just left my house going to work. Just as I’m getting to my parking, within the estate, you see, I don’t have a car, but I pass through my parking space to claim my Mercedes in Jesus’ name, then I walk to the stage. So as I was passing through my parking, nikaskia tu sauti mzuri Ikituma salamu, kugeuka it was her. Omera I had to smile back, such opportunities are rare in this hood.

“Hiiii, sema…” Nikafinyilia sauti talking like Nelson whenever he is vibing Selina. These guys have decided this show will not end anytime soon but anyway! So I have a deep voice but for matters PR, sauti ikageuka.

“I am your silent follower on Facebook. I love how you narrate your stories. They are so dramatic, gosh!!”

Maaaanze, I was just smiling sheepishly, anticipating more praises.

“Thanks a lot. I didn’t get your name.?”

“I’m kadzo.”

Nani ashawahi ona dem mtaita na sio msawa? Aki wote ni warembo! It’s like they were all created on the 8th day, God was keen with the final product ise!

I think that’s why they are very few of them and they all think they are cousins.

“Thanks a lot, Kadzo, I appreciate the feedback and I promise to keep the stories coming when I get time to write.”

“That would be great Ortis. By the way, do you just write your own personal stories or you also share other people’s experiences? I would like to share something I went through and I think it will be worth your while.”

Worth my while? That statement made me feel so special, nearly called my wife to ask her why she has never told me I’m worth her while.

“Okay, I’m easy. So when do you want to share the story? This will be new, but I will try and share it and hopefully I succeed.”

“Are you javing or driving?” She asks me.

“Oh, me? I’m javing/taking a matatu. My Mercedes is on the way to Kenya. So until it gets here I’m good using some new convenient ride called #SWVL. Best thing since sliced bread I tell you.”

“Ooh, is it the bus that works like Uber?”

“Yes, that one. Only, that it’s not Uber. It has made life easy but there are days they can delay you a good one.

So what do you propose Kadzo? You want to give me a ride as you share your story?”

“Yes please, if you don’t mind. I’m also heading to work in town.”

“Perfect! That could work. My office is also along Mombasa road. Si we listen to your story then?”

Safari ikaanzia Beijing Road. Somewhere in Mavoko county.

“I don’t know where to start from. Give me a minute to think it through.. Cool?”

Mmm.. I couldn’t say a word. BMW X5, Okay. Is this lady just a hard worker ama hii ni pesa ya wash wash, ama she is a drug dealer? Sleek car people, sleek car. Girl child is doing great things out here.

“So, I’m ready,” She began.

“I cleared campus at an early age and I didn’t struggle to get a job. So by the time I was 26 I was already a Communications manager in a top corporate company. I was at the top, I called shots. I had money…….

I was so focused, having a man was the last thing on my mind. I was raised up by a single mother, and I saw how much she struggled to raise me. It was my turn to take care of her and ensure by the time I’m having kids, no matter how bad circumstances may turn out to be, I would still be having enough assets to cater for their needs.”


“Why do you do that ortis?”

“I’m probing you to say more.” I think…

“Okay. When I turned 30 I was in a club hapo Langata, the famous 1824, with my girls having drinks on a random Thursday night. As we were enjoying our drinks and the music, I see this guy staring at me.

The alcohol tells me to wink at him and the next thing I know, this guy confidently walks up to me and asks if he can talk to me for a minute. His charisma stood out. Then the body. The guy was very hot, but had no money. Plus I could tell he was younger than me.

How do you know he didn’t have money?” I asked.

“Because at my age, we know the ones who fake from the real deal. Ladies is this true? Can you really tell kama mwanaume ako na pesa ama amesota? Some have mastered the art of faking it till they make it na mnaingianga tu box bado blindly. Hehe.

As I got to know him better after the night we met, I learned he dropped out of campus because of fees and all. So he was doing manual jobs and living with his big bro.”


“Because I grew to love him, I took him back to school. I kept my boyfriend like my sibling. Pocket money, shopping, aki enda ushago nampea mpaka pesa ya wazazi.. The ‘boy’ behaved well, everything was good.

Two years later, he cleared campus and I held a grand graduation bash for him. Being a good girlfriend, I brought him to the company I was working for and he got a paid internship opportunity.

He worked hard and proved his worth and got a permanent job.”

Ehe… When Kadzo mentioned the permanent job, I knew something big was coming. Mwanaume amepata pesa sasa, hapo ndio ujeuri huingia.

By now we were at Gateway mall, traffic was crazy. Hii Mombasa road pia ndio hukua na vituko. If you don’t leave the house by 6 am then woe unto you. Thank God we were both not in a hurry and I had all the time to listen to this drama unfold.

“He stayed in Nairobi west, and I stayed in kileleshwa then. So, on this Friday after a night out, he dropped me and went to his place. He was using my car.

The following day I got a call from home and I needed to rush to Nanyuki to see my mum. I called him several times but he wasn’t picking my calls and I thought maybe he was at the gym or still sleeping. I decided to call my best friend who stayed within the same court I stayed in, and she agreed to take me to his place.

My car was in the parking lot, nikajua huyu mwanaume ame oversleep. I got to his door and knocked but there was no response. I knocked some more as I kept talking to my friend. Finally, we heard the footsteps and when the door flung open, guess who?”


“I forgot to mention earlier that I had a new intern under me. A 2nd-year student from a local university. Brilliant and beautiful lady. She confused men in that company. I just didn’t know my man was one of them.

She was standing there shocked, didn’t say a single word. Alikua anashangaa akimbie, aruke na balcony ya jikoni, alie ama akae tu chini. She went back inside the house and sat down with her palms on her face in embarrassment.

When I got inside the house my man who was about to be dumped was also coming from the shower. When he saw me, I don’t know what got inside him. He slipped and hit his head, hard. Good! I whispered.

Marto, where are my car keys? Niko na haraka nataka kuenda mahali.

He stood up, went to the room, came back and handed me my keys and I left. Yaani I just didn’t have strength for any drama. That was the last day I saw or heard from my intern. I call that wisdom. Knowing when to disappear, only that her demons still came to haunt me later.”

“Ehe… Kadzo uko sure hii story tuta maliza kwa hii gari?” By now we are at Cabanas; traffic normally flows better once you get there.

“I think we still have time, wacha tuone..” She said.

“So at work, life goes on as usual and I don’t pay him any attention. Nilikua namlenga mpaka najiuliza kama huyu ni mimi kweli. Yaani, you do all these things for a man only for him to cheat on you with an intern. Surely, what’s wrong with some men?”

Phew… At least she said some men. Because I also don’t know what’s wrong with some men. I have always known Kenyan men to be very loyal and …. and…hard to say.

“ So he apologized, came to my place and cried himself silly. Imagine nilimwonea huruma and I took him back in. As in, dating. I wasn’t sold on the idea of moving in with him until he made our relationship official. At least propose or something. I was waiting for him to be stable and responsible that’s why he had to stay on his own.”

Now, that made some sense I thought.

“A year later, he got a new job, a very good job down in S.A after I pulled strings. Only that it meant our relationship would be long distance. But at least things were looking up for us, or so I thought.

Before he left, we had some mad sex… I couldn’t imagine being away from him for months before I saw him again. Everything we had never done was done on that night before he traveled.Pale mchezo ilikua ya 50 shades of grey. Then off he went.

We kept in touch like serious couples do. Then guess what happens, my periods’ delay. At 1st I thought it was the weather, it’s only an Elnino threat that could make my periods delay for this long. This was new, they always came on time. And just to be sure, I bought a kit and tested, it came out positive. I never believed it, later on, I went to the hospital just to be sure and my fears were confirmed. Yani i had taken pills but they evidently backfired on me, that guy hadn’t shot bullets that night. Those were missile bombs then.

Fast forward to the day he was coming, we were 18 weeks then. I was excited but anxious. I wasn’t sure how he was going to react once I told him about the pregnancy. So I put on a trench that would cover the evidence. When I saw him coming from the Int. arrivals terminal, I was so damn happy and proud of him yaani.

‘Hi babe, I have missed you. You look so damn good, and you are glowing.’ he said.

When I heard that, I was over the moon. It had been a while since I got a compliment mpaka nilikua najiuliza kama nimeanza ku chapa. He just restored that confidence. We hugged for a while, stole a kiss and left for home. He would be staying at my place now since he was in Nairobi for a week for some meetings before he went back.

When we arrived at the house, he freshened up. I warmed the meal I had made for him. Guy looked polished, he brought me a designer cologne and a sexy handbag. He was at that point anaweza ambia mtu tumia pesa ikuzoee. Ai, he smelt paper. I was happy for him, we had come from far.

‘Kwani huskii joto? C utoe hio trench?’

Dang! He got me. I wasn’t so sure how to respond because I hadn’t told him yet about the pregnancy.

Uko sure unataka nitoe? What if I’m heavy with your baby?

He laughed a bit sarcastically.

‘Not unless you got the baby through osmosis over our phone calls.’ He smiled and continued eating.

Okay, I was now in panic mode, had he just insinuated that I’m pregnant with someone else’s baby or I’m I just crazy? Hell no!

Jack, I’m pregnant. With your baby!!!

The authority that came with that statement got his attention. I removed my trench and showed him my belly when I felt he still hadn’t bought it, I went to my room and came back with the scans.

He took the scans, looked at them then looked at me. I couldn’t read his emotions and so it was hard to tell what was going through his head at that moment. There was silence, pin-drop silence.”


“The next thing I remember is, I was down on the floor and punches were raining on me. All this time he was shouting, ‘whose baby is this? Why are you trying to trap me and you know I’m not ready?

You stupid woman! You think I’m a fool?’ With each word came a stiff jab. I was so shocked I couldn’t scream. I was just on the floor crying. Then he asked me, ‘Kadzo, whose baby is this? Think through your answer or you will regret what I’m about to do.’

It’s your baby jack. And just as he had promised, I lived to regret the day I gave that answer. He kicked my belly so hard I blacked out. That’s the last thing I remember. Everything went silent and dark, no pain, no emotion, just darkness.

I woke up in the morning in the hospital, funny enough he is the one who took me there. Fabricated a story sijui how I was in a fight and he was being a good Samaritan. He paid the admission fee and left.”

By this time tuko GM, just a matter of time before I get to my office. And I’m wondering if I should just go to town with her nipate story yote ama nishukie stage yangu.


“So this doctor comes into my room and asks, ‘how are you feeling Kadzo? Any pains at all? Do you remember what happened?’ Hell yes, I do remember, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to sell him out because I know if I did, it would have been a police case. So I said I didn’t remember anything just yet.

‘So we have good and bad news. The good news is you are steady and will be leaving the hospital soon. The bad news, however, is you have miscarried, we noticed that you were expectant. Ran some tests to see whether the baby was okay. but I’m sorry to inform you that the life you carried in your womb is no more.’

All I did was stare outside the window. I couldn’t cry. The man I had invested everything I had in, made him who he is today. The man who I believed I would start a family with someday, was the same man who killed my unborn child. I was torn. His toxic so-called love pierced me like arrows and the poison was now killing me slowly. Ortis I never cried, I didn’t know how to. I was in shock.”

On my seat, I drew back, all this while wondering how such a gorgeous, focused, brilliant lady could go through so much pain and here she was, seeming so strong like everything was in order.

“I went into depression, I was ashamed and bitter. I couldn’t continue working where I was, walls have ears and rumors had started spreading. I couldn’t handle the shame. I resigned from my place of work and moved out of Kileleshwa and that’s how I ended up in Syokimau.

Ortis, we have arrived at your destination. The story doesn’t end there. Niendelee ama utaingia kwa ofisi then we can finish up when we meet again?”

I was in a hard place, I needed to know what happened next, I was sure it was still a long story. So I told her, highlight three things that will shock me before I alight.

“Are you ready for the shock?”She asked this while smiling.

Yes, I am, bring it on.

“So, he came back and apologized and I forgave him. That’s one. Two, I’m seeing a married man, he treats me like his queen and shows me, love no single man has ever shown me, I don’t feel guilty about it because I have never had so much peace. Three, my ex married my intern and they stay in S.A together now.

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