My Tales


Being found cheating is one thing, but being found cheating by a spouse who is a gun holder is another. Both the cheater’s lives are in his hands and he can do as he pleases. I was not about to die, I had to figure out how to escape the scene without looking like a coward. As I was busy calculating my next move, Lucy was keeping her Mubaba busy.

Lucy: We can’t do this anymore Kim, I’m tired and I want out of this relationship.

Kim: I will kill both of you before I leave this house, what do you mean you want out? After all I have done for you? I found you when you were nothing, all you could offer me was sex, I made you .

Lucy: Sijakataa, you found me when I was nothing, and now I am something thanks to you and my hard work. You can’t take that away from me. I earned everything I have, even getting laid to you, whatever came afterwards ,I earned it.

Kim started trembling, I knew this man would burst my balls with that pistol and I had to find a way of making it not happen, I was still high, confused but not confident to talk further, Mambo ya watu wawili na bunduki huingilii)… So umeamua ni huyu Mujinga unataka ?
That Mujinga bit sounded so hilarious, I wanted to laugh but this was a dangerous situation.

Raph: Mimi ni Mujinga lakini ananipenda, shida Iko wapi ndugu yangu?
I regretted why I said that, he cocked his gun, moved closer to me and pressed it on my Manhood!!

Kim: Mimi ni ndugu yako ? Mimi ni ndugu yako wewe Mushenzi? Umesema nini ? Rudia kitu Umesema uone kama Utapendwa kama hauna hii kitu!!! sema tena , wewe ni mwanaume, sindio ? Rudia kitu Umesema!!!

That’s the day I knew I didn’t have balls.. I wished I could cry and beg for my life but I wouldn’t have let my new bae here know I was a coward. But I’d rather be a coward but live long,ama ? Why die because of a love you haven’t even experienced yet ? Damn love! Or lust, whatever it was happening to me.. He called me Mujinga and Mushenzi, dating wababu can be tiresome na hizo matusi zao za kitambo.

Me: Pole , pole sana. Sitaki shida Mimi

Kim: Fool, hivi ndio watu hukufa wewe Mang’aa! Ebu toka na nisikupate hapa tena..

Me: I Slowly tiptoed to my clothes. I never applied oil on my buttocks so I def knew nilikua nimeparara and I wondered what was going through the killers mind. Maybe my buttocks would bore him and he would shoot them first out of hatred.

Lucy: What the hell do you think you are doing ? Why are you threatening him ? Nkt ! Raph I will come look for you. Wacha nimalizane na hii drama.

Kim: What do you think you are doing Lucy, how can you betray me like this when I have given you everything you have ever wanted ?

Lucy: What have you given me if I may ask ?

Kim: Now what kind of a stupid question is that? Have you been blind all along or now that you want to cut me loose umesahau kila kitu nimewahi Fanya ? Aki binadamu, binadamu !!

Lucy: What have you ever given me Kim ?

Kim: Let’s start with your job, sahii ungekua ushago ukichunga Ngombe! This house, everyone you own here, money..Trips to destinations you can only dream about. For heavens sake I even engaged you, isn’t that enough ?

Lucy: Haven’t you noticed you didn’t mention anything to do with Time and loyalty ? It’s not always about the money Kim.. You have been flirting and chasing after younger girls out there and you expectt me to remain? You are not loyal bro.
Alaaar, she had just called him bro. I wanted to turn and clap to that statement but I would be playing Russian roulette. From fiance to bro, tables were turning real fast. Anyway, Lucy was my fiance too, she had all the right to call him bro.

I was done putting on my clothes, I wanted to rush out and let them sort their issues but I was enjoying being part of the drama. Plus I couldn’t leave my wife to be with a dangerous man like that. As I stood there Kim suddenly turned and shouted at me angrily ‘ Toke nje wewe Mujinga’… Yani this guy couldn’t just say ‘Mjinga’ and this started to annoy me. I didn’t want to argue so I started walking slowly towards the door as I looked at them.

Babe, I’m here for you just Incase of anything, you don’t deserve such a psycho in your life. Lucy smiled back at me and said ‘okay babe ‘. I saw Kim turn red with rage, he rushed towards me and I fled. I went straight to the security guards while panting heavily. Since they already knew me they wondered what was wrong. I narrated to them how I had heard a neighbor being thoroughly beaten by a rogue man Kwa nyumba ya Lucy. Suddenly Wacha firimbi zianze kupigwa, all the watchmen came sprinting with tools of assault and I was excited to see this. This man was not prepared for the hell about to be unleashed on him. Alikua anaenda Kuona Cha mtema Kuni literally.

Like traditional fighters chanting a war cry, we marched towards Lucy’s house tukipuliza firimbi and me saying all sorts of things kuchocha the security guys ‘Yani mbaba anaweeza kukuja hapa kupiga tenants, anasahau we have a very qualified security team. Huyu lazima aone moto Leo, he has to know who is in charge of security in this Estate., Eeeh ! In my mind I knew this was just but a psychological game I was playing.

When we got to the house, the security in charge knocked the door and commanded ‘ Ebu mfungue mlango naskia Kuna shida hapa’..Some silence followed, then we heard the door being opened. Kim peeped outside and saw atleast 8 guards angrily staring at him. He stepped outside, confidently as if he hasn’t just tried to kill me. What followed next, I didn’t expect it. I totally didn’t expect it. The security in charge was called Omondi, let me tell you what Omondi said immediately Kim stepped outside, even if it were you, you would get as confused as I was.

Omondi: ah ah ah, Boss, Habari yako. Sikujua umefika hapa Leo.

Kim: Habari yako Omondi, shida ni nini?

Omondi: Ni huyu Kijana amekuja Kwa gate akisema Kuna assault Kwa hii nyumba, ndio tulikua tumekuja kuangalia. Hatukujua umehamia hapa. ( This statement could only mean he had several people within the same estate )

Kim: Omondi nyumba ni ya nani ?

Omondi: Ni yako boss, ni vile hatukujua umefika juu sijakuona ukipita Kwa gate.

Kim: Ni sawa, infact, nataka usaidizi kidogo. Nataka huyu Mujinga ahame kutoka Kwa hii Estate first thing in the morning. Anajaribu kunivunjia nyumba.

Omondi: Mkubwa hata sahii tunamtoa tu. Tuko tayari.

I looked at Omondi bewildered, I couldn’t believe what the hell was going on Infront of my eyes, and ears. Kwani who the hell was this guy again. In my confusion I saw Lucy standing huko nyuma Kwa sitting room. She sent me a message that read ‘ I’m sorry Raph, I forgot to mention he owns the security company and the estate is their family business ‘ I will call you tomorrow. Just leave to avoid any embarrassment..

I looked at the rest of the guards, nilitamani sana mtu anitetee. Wapi !!! These guys shrunk when they saw Kim and I knew something wasn’t right. There I was, dumbfounded, I had nothing else to say. Hivyo tu, ndio I was thrown back to factory settings. Even the drugs I had abused stopped functioning, nilirudi sober kabisaaaa.

Uko na kitu ya kusema wewe Mujinga’? Ask Raph. I genuinely had nothing to say.

Kesho asubuhi nisikupate hapa, umeskia?

I said nothing..

Wewe bwana unaongleshwa na mdosi usifanye tukupige hapa vibaya sana. Umeskia ama hujaskia ? Asked Omondi angrily, .

Nimeskia, I painfully responded.

Never in my life had I ever been that embarrassed Infront of people. Yani nilikua nafukuzwa kwangu kama burukenge. This was was too painful. Yani I had to pack and look for movers wakuje wanihamishe in a night. All this because I decided to love another man’s woman who didn’t feel loved. This life has no balance.

As I sadly walked back to my house, I wondered if everything Lucy and I had talked about was out of love or we just wanted to get laid. Maybe by morning my mind would have been clear enough for me to know whether I would continue pursuing ama nitawachilia tu.

When I got into the house, I was certain about one thing. I wasn’t going to move, I knew my rights and I wasn’t going to waste my energy packing Sijui clothes. He could have owned everything in that estate if he wanted to, but one thing I was definitely sure about, I came from a much more powerful family. Nilikua tu nacheza Chini..

That night I went to bed confused but in love, by Morning I would know how everything else would turn out for me.

My alarm woke me up at 5am, I had to get ready for work. But like everyone else, the first thing we look at before leaving bed is social media. As I scrolled through messages and notifications, something told me to check my WhatsApp stories. As I jumped from one story to the other, I saw Lucy had posted a story at the wee hours of the night. It was a photo of her and Kim tightly embracing each other. She looked happy, happier then I left her at night. It then dawned on me that I was chasing the wind.This girl loved Kim, she was just ranting like any other annoyed girl who wanted attention but she wasn’t going anywhere really.

That realization stabbed my heart, and it was painful. I wanted to respond to that post but I decided to ignore it. Instead I went to a new chat to send her a random message but on Opening the chat I realized I couldn’t see her profile picture, she never removed It. This girl had deleted my number already and moved on. Ah ! Dunia… I switched off my phone and went back to sleep, I couldn’t deal. She had made her choice, atleast I knew how sweet the honey was, it was worth it.

I was woken up again by a knock on the door and I wondered who on earth would wake me up at 6.30am on a weekday. I slowly dragged myself to the door, when I opened it who was there looking at me ? Omondi
Omondi: Boss, tumekuletea lorry, kuhama ni Leo.

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