I stared at the broken glasses on the floor nikashangaa ilifika aje nikakatia dem amechizi. I came to the conclusion that just as wealth is silent, so is beauty. These ladies who think they have it all and can get away with anything because their beauty is their saving grace are the most insecure lot, they are too entitled and most of them have unnecessary temper. How can a lady look so decent yet be a bull dozer deep down?

Chichi was a nut case, chizi fresh ! I felt anger well up inside me and I made up my mind there and then, I was not going to wait any longer, I was moving out the same damn day. They say if you ignore the devil she will flee, but with Chichi if you ignored her then you had to deal with the consequences so my only option was to flee.

Some months earlier, i had been given a phone number of some caretaker in Imara Daima. The reason I had it in the first place was because I thought Chichi was the ‘one’. I had intentions of moving in and probably starting a family with her. How wrong i was!With women, you have to tread carefully, very carefully, ask Samson.

Some are great, but most of them are very pretentious. They know how to act and can play the wife material role until you wife them. And it’s only till after you’ve wifed her that you realize it was all an act! I was glad i didn’t get to that point.

I had seen enough red flags from Chichi; enough to have to shelf that idea of moving in with her.

Well I was already a victim of abuse, this lady had basically grabbed me by the balls but it was time to let loose.It was time to make that call.

Phone ringing…

Me: Hello, vipi Kilonzo

Kilonzo: Poa

Me: Naitwa Kevin na nilipewa number yako na rafiki yangu anaitwa Jose. Aliniambia uko na vacants Imara Daima

Kilonzo: Eeh, iko !

Me: Naweza kukuja Leo kuona?

Kilonzo: Ehh, unaweza.

Me: Ni za room ngapi? Na security hapo iko aje

Kilonzo: Ni 2bedroom imebaki, security iko sawa kabisa. Hapa Kuna CCTV kila mahali na zinaonyesha mpaka kwa gate. Hata mgeni wako mwenyewe hawezi ingia kama hautarajii akuje.That sounded like something I needed. That would be the perfect way to deal with Chichi.

Me: Naweza ingia leo tafadhali boss?

Kilonzo: Hio ni sawa lakini kabla ukuje, uko na familia ama uko single?

Me: sasa hio inahusiana aje na Nyumba Kilonzo?

Kilonzo: Zinahusiana tena sana ndugu yangu, wewe hujui tu.

Me: ebu nieleze vipi ndugu.Kilonzo: hapa wanaume single wamekua wakitongoza bibi za watu sana na inaleta shida. Wanaume single hawaruhusiwi hapa ndugu yangu. For a second I thought he was joking but this guy was so damn serious, he wasn’t even laughing. I had to get a plan B now that marriage was being forced on me. I can’t believe cheating wives were making good men go through all this house drama. Couldn’t they be faithful to their husbands. Nairobi women! Smh

Me: Na niulize Kilonzo, unajua nyumba ingine kama hio yako na iko na security Mzuri? Juu mimi bado sioni nikioa karibuni. I asked him

.Kilonzo: Kuna moja iko hio pande ya south B ya mdosi. Pengine nikupatie number ya huyo caretaker uongee na yeye.

Me: Tafadhali nitumie sahii sahii tu.

He sent the number soon enough. The other caretaker’s name was Mutua. Kamba people appear to be honest enough for them to be trusted with such powerful positions…

‘Mutua speaking,how may I help you?’ In a subtle, neat tone, he answered the call.

Me: Hi Mutua, my name is Kevin, kilonzo has referred me to you concerning a house in South B. Is there an available unit and how much do they cost?

Mutua: Thank you for calling me, yes there is one available unit remaining. It’s a two bedroom house and it’s going for 45,000 shillings. How soon did you want to move in?

Me: I want to move in as soon as possible. I’m just curious to know how the security is and what amenities are available.

Mutua: The security is good. We have CCTV cameras on all floors. Each house has a door bell at the main gate and a camera too so anytime someone visits you, they can’t get access until you tell the watchman to open the gate for them( the one thing i wanted to hear). As for the amenities we have a gym and and gazebos at the rooftop. As he continued talking, a call came in, it was Chichi so I wondered whether to pick or lenga it. With this lady you just had to be sure so i had to cut Mutua short..

Mutua, let me pick an urgent call I’m calling you right back. I said No problem, don’t take too long because someone else wanted this house too. He said

Its okay, I will call you shortly, don’t worry. As I said that I ended our call. I wanted to call back Chichi but it was dangerous, she would know I was in the house, she wasn’t no fool. Then her text came in.

Chichi: I’m on my way to your place to pick my clothes.. Now what the hell, I could even buy new ones as long as she left me in peace..

Me: I’m not home, I travelled to shagz this morning there was an emergency but I will be back in two days time. I can have them delivered.

Chichi: I was already here Kevin, I’m at your watchman’s gate for heavens sake. Why didn’t you tell me you are travelling, what happened to you telling me things.

Me: I’m sorry I forgot, but once I get back I will definitely let you know.Chichi: Chichi, it’s okay, either way,let me just go and check the door maybe you forgot to lock it.

When she said this i nearly went crazy. I rushed to my room and looked for random padlocks and rushed back to the main door and locked it from inside. That’s how we locked our doors. So that when she stretched her hand inwards to open the door she would feel the lock. ‘I was a neat guy and clothes and stuff were all over so I had to pick them up real fast and hide them in my room. I didn’t want to give her any room of doubt when it came my travel story. I then put my phone on silent mode then I hid behind the door so that I could peep outside but she couldn’t see me.

Yani mwanaume mzima anajificha kwa nyumba yake juu ya mwanamke hatari! I heard her come up the stairs. I knew how she walked. I could see her stroll outside my window as if wondering how my glass broke yet she was the culprit behind the damage. As I silently watched her walk around, Mutua called me but I immediately cut the call. Even before I could relax my boss, senior boss, who never calls me started calling me too but I cut the call also. Why the hell was he calling me in the 1st place. Then immediately Chichi Started calling me, but I cut her call too. I swear what was wrong with these people now?

I stood there in silence as I peeped, she was looking through the window hoping to have a glance at something out off place. She touched the padlock continously, then she called me again but I didn’t pick. Then she texted me,

Why have you changed the padlock? What was wrong with the other one?

Me: I misplaced it in the house,I’m sorry I can’t pick your call I’m abit held up.

Her: Held up doing what what exactly?

Me: Talking to my dad

Her: Where is the extra key?

Me; that padlock has only one key. I’m coming back in a day, you will see me. Relax

Her: You can be so annoying sometimes,,argh!

Me: I love you too, see you soon babe. Silence……

Her: I love you too

Phewx…What a lucky escape that was…I heard her walk away, I rushed to the window nika chungulia as she went down the staircase.

Good Ridance !

Now I was torn in between calling the caretaker of the new place or my boss. What mattered more was my peace of mind, I was good at my work, I would deal with my boss later.

Mutua, pole sana nilikua nimeshikana kidogo. Unasemaje ndugu yangu ? I asked

I wanted to tell you someone else wants to pay for the house and I’m at crossroads, are you still interested? He asks.

Yes I am, in fact share the till number I pay for that house and Shortly I did the transaction. That evening, I was at my new place, my heart was at peace. I had a look at my phone and I had close to 50 missed calls. 10 from my boss, 1 from my girlfriend to be and 40 from my crazy ex. Now it was time to deal with my boss.

Hello Sir, I’m sorry I missed your call today. It has been a hectic one. I said

Are you aware today is a working day Kevin?? And your phone should be next to you anytime I call ? He says

I’m aware sir, a lot has been happening today and things haven’t been well so I had to urgently sort out the issues.

What issues are you talking about that are more important than your work?

They are quite personal..I say

Are they more important than your work ? He asks

Sir, I was running away from my crazy girlfriend, she attempted to kill me yesterday night and now she is stalking me. I have not been at peace for a very long time and I felt I had to address the issues today. I say.

So how did you address the issues? He asks

I moved out sir, I secretly moved out to a new place she knows nothing about. Then he burst out laughing…I wondered what was funny.

Yani ni msichana amefanya usishike Simu yangu siku nzima?? Enyewe these women will finish us one day. I was ready to fire you today. But since I can relate, I have good news to cheer you up.

The proposal you did went through and you will head the whole project going forward. He said

That meant something to me, it was big. At least kulikua na good news after having the craziest 24hrs of my life. I had two more things to do before calling it a day. One, call Wambui and plan for our next date, and two, delete the contact details of chichi and block her on all my social media sites. I even went ahead and deactivated all my social media accounts just because.

For the first time in a long while, i felt a heavy burden lifted off my shoulders. Loving the wrong person can truly enslave someone.

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