Growing up in the ghetto si kitu rahisi, na it takes so much kuresist temptations mob, from kutumia drugs, kuanza kusell ‘Cat’ mapema, wizi ndio at least msee asurvive. Personally I know how it feels like kugo without sanitary towels during that time of the month coz mathe alikua tu mtough tu sana opening up to her about some things ilikua tu noma so ilibidi tu nicheze kama mimi ndio nisurvive.
I got raped by an uncle of mine at 12 years old and story ikakanyagiwa all in the name of protecting our family’s name na pia my aunt, siz ya mum was not ready to loose her marriage. Mum alikua junior pastor by then so hakuna venye ange allow story kama hiyo itoke njee coz ingemharibia jina kwa washirika na she was not ready for any sort of drama. That incident left me with so much hatred towards men na nikagrow tu nikiwa rebellious. In short my life totally changed from that day, Joy moved from being an extrovert to a total introvert, I just don’t do people anymore till date. But one thing I promised myself is that lazima tu mtu ama watu watalipia for what my uncle did.
Performance yangu chuo ilienda tu down kabisa coz enyewe hakuna venye ningefocus, walimu shule nao wakaanza kusema ni adole inanisumbua without them knowing what was happening. So came KCPE, Joy akanyakua 323 zake na nikaingia kwa chuo poa Nyanza. Life ya huko ilikua noma tu and plus I couldn’t stand any male teachers, so nikakua even more rebellious na kufikia F2 nilikataa punishment ya mode/mwalimu fulani and I ended up being suspended from the school.
So came F2 second term, na maneno ya masomo ikakataa and I sneaked from the school after morning preps, kuna venye fence ilikua tu open so I didn’t encounter any problem time ya kuhepa. Nikaingia shopping centre fulani kwa mpesa, and asked the mpesa lady to call my dad anitumie fare. I lied to my dad that nilikua nimefukuziwa school fees, he wanted to call the school bursar but nikamwambia akitaka kuniona tena anitumie fare bure nitahepa kabisa, ilibidi ametuma fare, booked the the first evening bus and waited in the mpesa shop hadi masaa za kutoka.
Once I got to Nairobi, I never gave my paroz an explanation as to why I sneaked out of school but I just told them wakitaka niendelee na masomo wanitafutie shule nisome. My dad has always had my interest at heart so akakubali tu, so F2 third term, nikaingizwa day school fulani mtaani nijishikilie then come F3 ndio nitafutiwe boarding school nyingine, nikakubali. Kwa hiyo chuo sasa I met with this boy child mwenye alikua pedi wa vela and that’s how story yangu na weed ikaanza, venye tu alinishow hii kitu hua inafanya usahau shida zako niliingia box na ikakua daily dose, so after school, form ilikua kupitia huko tunajitibu tu vizuri then naenda tu home. Ikafika point yenye hata sikua naenda chuo just to go stone, kwa hiyo base ndio nilikua introduced kwa muguka, chavis na pombe, ilikua zile enzi za flying horse, ukishapiga yako nusu kazi ilikua tu ni kuvuruga sasa.
Venye nilimake kusurvive hiyo term hadi shule zikafungwa ni Mungu tu. So F3 mi nikaingizwa boarding school na kusurvive huko ilikua matata coz hakukua na madre, I’m asthmatic so any time I could not fight the urge then I would just fake an attack then ningepata ruhusa ya kuingia home ndio nijisort tu na at least nifeel niko sawa.
Walimu walikam kuzoea hii routine hadi sasa ilikua attack ikinipata wananipeleka home then wanakol wazazi wangu wasort bill. Second term after kukaa wiki mbili chuo nililemewa kuvumilia na sikurudi home this time, I went kwa hao machali walikua wanasell the drugs kupiga kambi huko, at first walikua tu sawa na mimi kukaa kwa hiyo room but ikafikia point sasa wakaanza kuzusha, ilikua either nikubali kukua Bibi ya one of them ama nianze kuleta pesa kwa hiyo nyumba coz hakuna cha bure.
At 17 nilikua nashindwa ni job gani naeza fanya na kukua Bibi ya mtu only meant that a man would be on top of me, hiyo hesabu haikuniiingia so ilibidi nimecheza kama mimi, I went back home, begged for forgiveness na nikapromise kuchange, dad alinipea tu condition moja, ukitaka kukaa kwa hii nyumba, rudi shule. This only meant one thing, kuingia kwa my 4th school na niko high school, bro ya buda ndio alipewa hiyo kazi sasa, being that alikua mkali sana walijua tu hakuna venye ningeleta mchezo sasa.
A gal akaingizwa shule tena, kusurvive haikua noma coz after school ningepitia base, vela, chavis then kuingia home. I became even more rebellious as time went by na after chuo kufungwa ilikua tuende tuition yet mi nikachoose kudodge, ningetoka home morning, naingia kwa base yangu. So after one week siku ingia chuo, class teacher called my uncle asking him my whereabouts and why I have not been going to school, uncle kupigia mzae, mzae akamshow mi hua naingia chuo morning, ilibidi wote wametoka kazi wakaenda chuo kuwitness hii maneno na enyewe hapo nikanaswa.
Principal wa shule naye akasema the only way ataniallow niingie kwa shule yake ni hadi niget letter kutoka kwa chief inspector fulani hapo mtaa. Juu wazazi ni wale wale, tukaandamana hadi kwa chief inspector, huko nilipata nimengojwa na Askari punda (AP) , man nilinyoroshwa bila huruma, mi nikasema pombe na takataka zote nimeacha , kumbe this people were just creating a monster in me without knowing. That’s where all the drama began. Hiyo day tulirudi tu home, nikatoa uniform nikatoka kama msee ameenda kwa shop na hivyo ndio nilienda kabisa.
Facebook Comments